Lesson 12： Why I Write

　　從很小的時候，大概五、六歲，我知道長大以后將成為一個作家。

　　From a very early age， perhaps the age of five or six， I knew that when I grew up I should be a writer.

　　從15到24歲的這段時間里，我試圖打消這個念頭，可總覺得這樣做是在戕害我的天性，認為我遲早會坐下來伏案著書。

　　Between the ages of about seventeen and twenty-four I tried to adandon this idea， but I did so with the consciousness that I was outraging my true nature and that sooner or later I should have to settle down and write books.

　　三個孩子中，我是老二。老大和老三與我相隔五歲。8歲以前，我很少見到我爸爸。由于這個以及其他一些緣故，我的性格有些孤僻。我的舉止言談逐漸變得很不討人喜歡，這使我在上學期間幾乎沒有什么朋友。

　　I was the middle child of three， but there was a gap of five years on either side， and I barely saw my father before I was eight- For this and other reasons I was somewhat lonely， and I soon developed disagreeable mannerisms which made me unpopular throughout my schooldays.

　　我像一般孤僻的孩子一樣，喜歡憑空編造各種故事，和想像的人談話。我覺得，從一開始，我的文學志向就與一種孤獨寂寞、被人冷落的感覺聯系在一起。我知道我有駕馭語言的才能和直面令人不快的現實的能力。這一切似乎造就了一個私人的天地，在此天地中我能挽回我在日常生活中的不得意。

　　I had the lonely child's habit of making up stories and holding conversations with imaginary persons， and I think from the very start my literary ambitions were mixed up with the feeling of being isolated and undervalued.

　　我知道我有駕馭語言的才能和直面令人不快的現實的能力。這一切似乎造就了一個私人的天地，在此天地中我能挽回我在日常生活中的不得意。

　　I knew that I had a facility with words and a power of facing unpleasant facts， and I felt that this created a sort of private world in which I could get my own back for my failure

　　還是一個小孩子的時候，我就總愛把自己想像成驚險傳奇中的主人公，例如羅賓漢。但不久，我的故事不再是粗糙簡單的自我欣賞了。它開始趨向描寫我的行動和我所見所聞的人和事。

　　。 . As a very small child I used to imagine that I was， say， Robin Hood， and picture myself as the hero of thrilling adventures， but quite soon my “story” ceased to be narcissistic in a crude way and became more and more a mere description of what I was doing and the things I saw.

　　一連幾分鐘，我腦子里常會有類似這樣的描述：