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lesson6

一個好機會

Lesson Six A Good Chance

我到鴨溪時，喜鵲沒在家，我和他的妻子阿米莉亞談了談。

When I got to Crow Creek， Magpie was not home. I talked to his wife Amelia.

“我要找喜鵲，”我說，“我給他帶來了好消息。”我指指提著的箱子，“我帶來了他的詩歌和一封加利福尼亞大學的錄取通知書，他們想讓他來參加為印第安人舉辦的藝術課。”

“I need to find Magpie，” I said. “I've really got some good news for him.” I pointed to the briefcase I was carrying. “I have his poems and a letter of acceptance from a University in California where they want him to come and participate in the Fine Arts Program they have started for Indians.”

“你知道他還在假釋期間嗎？”

“Do you know that he was on parole？”

“這個，不，不大清楚。”我猶豫著說，“我一直沒有和他聯系，但我聽說他遇到了些麻煩。”

“Well， no， not exactly，” I said hesitantly， “I haven't kept in touch with him but I heard that he was in some kind of trouble.

她對我笑笑說：“他已經離開很久了。你知道，他在這兒不安全。他的假釋官隨時都在監視他，所以他還是不到這兒來為好，而且我們已經分開一段時間了，我聽說他在城里的什么地方。”

She smiled to me and said， “He's gone a lot. It's not safe around here for him， you know. His parole officer really watches him all the time and so sometimes it is just better for him not to come here. Besides， we haven't been together for a while. I hear he's in town somewhere.”

“你是指他在錢柏林？”

“Do you mean in Chamberlain？”

“對。我和他姐姐住在這兒，她說前一段時間她在那兒見過他。不過喜鵲不會去加利福尼亞的。即使你見到他并和他談此事，他現在也決不會離開這兒。”

“Yes， I live here with his sister and she said that she saw him there， quite a while ago. But Magpie would not go to California. He would never leave here now even if you saw him and talked to him about it.”

“可他以前去過，”我說，“他去過西雅圖大學。”

“But he did before，” I said， “He went to the University of Seattle.”

“是的，但……但是，那是以前，”她說，似乎不想再談這個話題。

“Yeah， but…well， that was before，” she said， as though to finish the matter.

“你難道不希望他去嗎？”我問道。

“Don't you want him to go？” I asked.

“哦，這不是我說了算的。我們現在已經分開了。我只是告訴你，你一定會失望的。像你這樣的人希望他需要那些，可他已經不再需要了。”她很快答道，語氣非常肯定。

Quickly， she responded， “Oh， it's not up to me to say. He is gone from me now. I'm just telling you that you are in for a disappointment. He no longer needs the things that people like you want him to need，” she said positively.

當她意識到我不喜歡她用“像你這樣的人”的字眼時，她停了一下，然后把手放在我的胳膊上，“聽著，”她說，“喜鵲現在終于快樂了。他情緒很好，英俊倜儻，自由自在而又意志堅強。他和兄弟們一起坐在皮鼓前唱歌，他現在一切都很好。以前，每當發表那些反政府和反對美國印第安人事務委員會的言論時，他總會越發氣憤，充滿怨恨。我曾為他擔憂，但現在我不再擔心了。你為什么不讓他獨自呆著呢？”

When she saw that I didn't like her reference to “people like you”， she stopped for a moment and then put her hand on my arm. “Listen，” she said， “Magpie is happy now， finally. He is in good spirits， handsome and free and strong. He sits at the drum and sings with his brothers： he's okay now. When he was saying all those things against the government and against the council， he became more and more ugly and embittered and I used to be afraid for him. But I'm not now.

我和賽利娜坐在一家咖啡館里。

I was sitting at the café with Salina.

她突然說道：“我不知道喜鵲在哪兒，我已經4天沒見到他了。”

Abruptly she said， “I don't know where Mapie is. I haven't seen him in four days.”

“我把他的詩也帶來了。”我說，“他有機會進入加利福尼亞的藝術學院，但是我必須和他談一談，還要讓他填一下這些表格。我相信他一定會感興趣的。”

“I've got his poems here with me，” I said. “He has a good change of going to a Fine Arts school in California， but I have to talk with him and get him to fill out some papers. I know that he is interested.”

“不，他不會的，”她打斷了我，“他根本就不再做這些沒用的、愚蠢的夢了。”

“No， he isn't，” she broke in. “He doesn't have those worthless， shitty dreams anymore.”

“別這樣說，賽利娜，這對他真的是個好機會。”

“Don't say that， Salina. This is a good chance for him.”

“好了，你愛怎么想就怎么想吧，可最近你跟他談過嗎？你知道他如今怎么樣嗎？”

“Well， you can think what you want， but have you talked to him lately？ Do you know him as he is now？”

“我知道他情況很好，我也知道他有這個天分。”

“I know he is good. I know he has such talent.”

“他是一個印第安人，這次他回到這里是要住下來。”

“He is Indian， and he's back here to stay this time.”

“你和我一起開車去錢柏林，好嗎？”我問道。

“Would you drive into Chamberlain with me？” I asked.

她一言不發。

She said nothing.

“如果他是你所說的那種印第安人，不管那是什么意思，如果他這次回來是要住下來，如果他自己親口對我說出來，我就打消這個念頭。但是，賽利娜，”我極力說服道，“我一定要跟他談談，問問他想要做什么。你知道我的意思，不是嗎？”

“If he is Indian as you say， whatever that means， and if he is back here to stay this time and if he tells me that himself， I'll let it go. But Salina，” I urged， “I must talk to him and ask him what he wants to do. You see that， don't you？”

“是的， 我知道了，” 她 終于說道， “他有權知道這一切， 但你會明白。”

“Yes，” she said finally. “He has a right to know about this， but you'll see…”

我們離開時，她的高跟鞋在咖啡屋前的人行道上發出清脆的響聲，當她又談及喜鵲時，變得焦慮不安。

Her heels clicked on the sidewalk in front of the café as we left， and she became agitated as she talked.

“他在卡司特抗議時，因為法院被燒，惹了麻煩，被判入獄1年。他現在還在假釋期間，他的假釋期還有5年，可他們連任何對他不利的證據都沒有找到。5年呀！你能相信嗎？現在連謀殺罪的人都沒有判這樣重。”

“After all that trouble he got into during that protest at Custer when the courthouse was burned， he was in jail for a year. He's still on parole and he will be on parole for another five years – and they didn't even prove anything against him！ Five years！ Can you believe that？ People these days can commit murder and not get that kind of a sentence.”

我們驅車行使在錢柏林的大街上，埃爾吉正站在銀行附近的拐角處，我和賽利娜都心照不宣，這個喜鵲的好朋友肯定知道他在哪兒。

Elgie was standing on the corner near the Bank as we drove down the main street of Chamberlain， and both Salina and I knew without speaking that this man， this good friend of Magpie's， would know of his whereabouts.

我們停了車，埃爾吉走了過來，舒服地靠坐在車的后排座位上。

We parked the car， Elgie came over and settled himself in the back seat of the car.

車慢慢地駛到了我們停車的街角處，假釋官目不轉睛地盯著我們3人，而我們卻假裝沒看見。

A police car moved slowly to the corner where we were parked and the patrolmen looked at the three of us intently and we pretended not to notice.

巡邏車在空蕩蕩的街道上慢慢前行。我小心謹慎地轉向埃爾吉。

The patrol car inched down the empty street and I turned cautiously toward Elgie.

我還沒來得及開口，賽利娜說，“她給喜鵲拿了些表格。他有可能進入加利福尼亞的一所作家學院讀書。”

Before I could speak， Salina said， “She is got some papers for Magpie. He has a chance to go to a writer's school in California.”

總是不太想讓別人清楚地了解他的想法的埃爾吉說道，“是嗎？”可賽利娜卻不想讓他就這么不置可否。“埃爾吉，”她嘲弄道，“埃爾吉，你知道他是不會去的！”

Always tentative about letting you know what he was really thinking， Elgie said， “Yeah？” But Salina wouldn't let him get away so noncommittally， “Elgie，” she scoffed. “You know he wouldn't go！”

“是呀，你知道，”埃爾吉開口說，“卡司特那件事發生以后，我和喜鵲曾經想要躲藏起來，最后我們到了奧古斯塔娜大學的校園。那兒有我們的幾個朋友。他開始談論自由，而這些是我永遠都不會忘記的。在那以后當他被捕入獄時，自由便成為了他的主要話題。自由。他渴望自由，可是，老兄，他們總盯著你的時候，你不可能有自由。哦，那個怪物，就是他的那個假釋官，是一只卑鄙的看門狗。”

“Well， you know，” Elgie began， “one time when Magpie and me were hiding out after that Custer thing， we ended up on to Augustana College Campus. We got some friends there. And he started talking about freedom and I never forget that， and then after he went wants to be free and you can't be that， man， when they're watching you all the time. Man， that freak that's his parole officer is some mean watch-dog.”

“你覺得他會拿到獎學金嗎？”我滿懷希望地說。

“You think he might go for the scholarship？” I asked， hopefully.

“我不知道。也許吧。”

“I don't know. Maybe.”

“他在哪兒？”我問道。

“Where is he？” I asked.

沉默了很長一會兒后，埃爾吉終于開口了：“我想你來得太好了，因為喜鵲需要從這沒完沒了的監視和檢查中解脫出來。事實上，他一直談道：”如果我和白人交往，那么我將沒有自由；那里沒有印第安人的自由。你現在應該和他談談。他變了。他贊成同白人完全分離或隔離。“

There was a long silence. Then Elgie said at last， “I think it's good that you've come， because Magpie needs some relief from this constant surveillance， constant checking up. In fact， that's what he always talks about. 'If I have to associate with the whites， then I'm not free： there is no liberty in that for Indians.' You should talk to him now. He's changed. He's for complete separation， segregation， total isolation from the whites.”

“這是不是有點太過分了？太不實際了？”我問道。

“Isn't that a bit too radical？ Too unrealistic？” I asked.

“我不知道。我真的不知道。”

“I don't know. Damn if I know.”

“好了，”賽利娜說，“你覺得他在加利福尼亞的那所大學里會怎樣？可這是他學習和寫作的一個好機會。我覺得他會從中找到一種愉快的感覺。”

“Yeah，” said Salina， “Just what do you think it would be like for him at that university in California？” “But it's a chance for him to study， to write. He can find a kind of satisfying isolation in that， I think.”

過了一會兒，埃爾吉說道：“不錯，我認為你是對的”。

After a few moments， Elgie said， “Yeah， I think you are right.”

然后他又從后排座位上抬起身來說道：“我要過橋了，再過大約3個街區就到了。在我快要下橋的地方的左邊有一座白色的老式二層小樓。喜鵲的哥哥剛從內布拉斯加州教養院出來，現在跟他的妻子就住在那兒，喜鵲也在。”

“ Soon he got out of the back seat and said， ”I'm going to walk over the bridge . It's about three blocks down there. There is an old， whit two-story house on the left side just before you cross the bridge. Magpie's brother just got out of the Nebraska State Reformatory and he is staying there with his old lady， and that's where Magpie is.“

現在終于能夠和他談談，并讓他自己作出決定了。

At last！ Now I could really talk to him and let him make this decision for himself.

“呵！還有些問題，”埃爾吉說，“喜鵲本不應該在那兒，你知道，因為這是他的假釋條件的一部分，那就是他要離開朋友、親戚和以前的囚犯，差不多是所有的人。可上帝呀，這是他的哥哥呀。等到日落前你們再來。把車停在加油站那兒，只要從那兒繞過那條街走到房子的后門進去，你就可以跟喜鵲談所有這一切了。”

“There are things about this though，” Elgie said. “Magpie shouldn't have been there， see， because it's a part of the condition of his parole that he stays away from friends and relatives and ex-convicts and just about everybody. But Jesus， this is his brother. Wait until just before sundown and then come over. Park your car at the service station just around the block from there and walk to the back entrance of the house and then you can talk to Magpie about all this.”

賽利娜跟我講述著喜鵲在背井離鄉數月后返回鴨溪的情形及他的親戚是怎樣到他姐姐家歡迎他返鄉的。“他們來聽他和兄弟唱歌，他們圍坐在椅子上，歡笑著和他一起歌唱。”

Salina was talking， telling me about Magpie's return to Crow Creek after months in exile and how his relatives went to his sister's house and welcomed him home. “They came to hear him sing with his brothers， and they sat in chairs around the room and laughed and sang wit him.”

我們到達時，院子里停著幾輛車。賽利娜壓低聲音說，“她們可能正在聚會。”

Several cars were parked in the yard of the old house as we approached， and Salina， keeping her voice low， said， “Maybe they are having a party.”

然而，四周的寂靜使我忐忑不安。當我們走進敞著的后門時，看到人們都站在廚房里，我小心翼翼地問道，“出什么事了？

But the silence which hung about the place filled me with apprehension， and when we walked in the back door which hung open， we saw people standing in the kitchen. I asked carefully， “What's wrong？”

沒有人答話，只有埃爾吉走了過來。他那充血的眼睛里充滿悲傷和痛苦。

Nobody spoke but Elgie came over， his bloodshot eyes filled with sorrow and misery.

他在我們面前站了一會兒，然后示意我們到起居室去。

He stood in front of us for a moment and then gestured us to go into the living room.

屋子里靜靜地，坐滿了人。終于，埃爾吉輕輕地說道，“他們槍殺了他。”

The room was filled with people sitting in silence， and finally Elgie said， quietly， “They shot him.”

“他們說他違反了假釋條件把他抓走了，關進監獄后就槍殺了他。”

“They picked him up for breaking the conditions of his parole and they put him in jail and … they shot him.”

“可是為什么？”我大喊道，“怎么會發生這樣的事？”

“But why？” I cried. “How could this have happened？”

“他們說他們認為他要反抗，而且他們害怕他。”

“They said they thought he was resisting and that they were afraid of him.”

“害怕？”我懷疑地問，“但……但是，他有武器嗎？”

“Afraid？” I asked， incredulously. “But…but…was he armed？”

“沒有”，埃爾吉說著坐了下來。他的胳膊撐在膝蓋上，頭低著。

“No，” Elgie said， seated now， his arm on his knees， his head down. “No， he wasn't armed.”

我把喜鵲的詩緊緊握在手里，兩手的拇指交替在平滑的紙夾上狠狠地摁著。

I held the poems tightly in my hands pressing my thumbs，first one and then the other，against the smoothness of the cardboard folder.